So, in light of all of my recent angst and the ever-mounting signs from the universe that I should finally get my divorce proceedings started, I am making an appointment with a mediator for next week!!!
It’s been over four years since my husband dropped the bomb and after countless, sometimes humorous, more often pathetic, attempts to salvage my marriage, I am finally ready.
I’m terrified. But the lure of autonomy and being “actually divorced” instead of perpetually “about to be divorced” is too strong to resist.
This is going to get interesting.
Will I end up living in my parents’ house? Will I move to a new city? Will work opportunities magically appear because I’m finally on the right track? Will my ex use our kids as emotional pawns? Will it get worse before it gets better?
I have no idea. But I’m going to hang on tight and plow ahead. And I’m going to continue to share my journey here so that I can have an outlet and work through it and especially so that you or whomever can get a good laugh or cry out of it. And maybe someone will read and relate and chime in.
Four years? I’m thinking that’s a lot of limbo. Sending you hugs and positive energies for whatever comes next.
Thanks D.A., always love when you comment on my blog. 😉 It’s been four years because the ex travels nonstop and I’ve been reluctant to initiate a process that will most definitely lead to my children and myself being uprooted. I’ve met with lawyers and an accountant and researched, so I know pretty much where we should end up.
Oh Limbo. I hear you on several fronts, and I feel for you. (My traveling spouse made the entire proceeding much more expensive and take much longer than required. Also – be careful relative to jurisdictions – check out everything relative to the state law you’re governed by. This isn’t a plug, but I really would go to About’s Divorce Support and research there if you haven’t already.
It can be extremely difficult to enforce anything across state lines. It doesn’t matter what’s on paper. It doesn’t matter who’s “legally and morally right.” The reality is – fighting across states, court proceedings when one can claim “out of town on business” – it all gets very gnarly.
Despite everything – being a prisoner in a non-life because you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t can only be sustained for so long.
Protect yourself every way you know how. Protect your kids’ interests every way you know how.
Thanks again D.A. for your insights.