My ex bought my kids iphones. Waaay before I ever would have. And that was a few years ago.
The ex complains that they use their phones too much (bills are too high).
I start enforcing rules and field a steady flow of complaints from my boys that I am too restrictive, too overprotective, none of their friends have these rules, etc.
Kids being kids, the bills are still too high.
The ex walks into my home this morning for an impromptu “meeting” about the most recent bill and proceeds to criticize my parenting skills and lack of responsibility in front of my kids. He also mentions that the woman he spoke to at AT&T couldn’t believe a 10 year old even has an iphone. I try to calmly point out that HE bought them their iphones!!! And, that when he did so, he opened up an entire world of issues and oversight that I, alone, have to manage and it’s actually too much for me.
He smirked and scoffed when I articulated how much I am handling. I bit my tongue. I held my breath. I tried to resist defending myself because my younger boy was crying and begging us not to fight.
It just sucked.
So, NEW RULES
1) Kids’ phones are set up with a mechanism that cuts them off after a certain amount of usage.
2) We will no longer attempt “family meetings”. That it is too damaging to the kids. From now on we can discuss privately and either one of us will relay the outcome, consequences, resolution etc, or we can just put it in writing for them.
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST CO-PARENTING IS HARD! WTF????
That is unbelievable he would do that in front of the kids. Your putting a stop to the family meeting things is a great idea. My ex and I always talk things out away from our son.
Yeah, that “family meeting” didn’t go too well.
This makes me laugh, only because this is how my ex operates. My ex is crazy. there is no coparenting. there is only me, who is the parent. and him. who like to be the best friend. he likes to talk shit about my rules. my house. its so frustrating. im sorry your kids have to see this kind of mess.
i hope it gets easier for you (but from my experience, it does not).
Well, I appreciate your honesty (that it doesn’t get better). In my situation, there are ups and downs and occasional glimmers of hope (https://survivinglimbo.com/2013/05/28/sometimes-people-can-surprise-you-and-me/).
Thanks for your post. I hope your situation improves or at least in time that you find ways to manage it and be happy in spite of it! 🙂
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