Sometimes it Hurts

I don’t have to tell you that sometimes it hurts. You know that.

But I want to tell you. Because it’s easy to forget that everyone struggles. It’s easy to take it personally when things fall apart. It’s easy to surmise that we are each so uniquely flawed and alone in our doubts, insecurities and suffering.

I wonder how we make this mistake, allow this delusion to disguise itself as realty—that somehow others have it easier, are loved more, feel better more often. It’s really a crock of shit.

I’m not saying life sucks. On the contrary, it’s a miraculous, beautiful gift. Every bit of it. But from the moment each of us realizes we are mortal, we are balancing the fragility and impermanence of life against our innate desires to feel purposeful and that our lives have meaning.

We all suffer. I’m not alone. You are not alone. None of us are alone (no matter how lonely we might feel).

It’s just a thought. A remembrance for me. A reminder for you.

This life is a trip. And a current state can feel like an eternity, like our entire reality, whether blissful or agonizing. It can be hard not to lose perspective. Grief feels like forever. Love feels like the sweetest chocolate that we hope wont dissolve and digest, but we know it will, we know it does. We have no choice but to let the ebb and flow be what they are and do what they do.

Hopefully, we can learn with age to ride the waves. It’s remarkable to me that in my 40s, I still forget. Or, I know intellectually, but my gut can harbor the fear of a seven year old who has no concept of how unpredictable the future is, how completely wild the spectrum of experiences and emotions is and will be. It takes some years to see the pattern. It can take forever to accept.

But, the bottom line is that it can feel so real. I want to be related to. I want to relate to you. Don’t you agree with this simple truth? Sometimes it hurts.

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