Well, That Went Fast!

2015twoIt feels like just a minute ago I was whining about being alone on Christmas, kissing off 2013, and gearing up for a stellar 2014. 

Christmas turned out just fine but my ambitious plans for 2014 were swiftly thwarted. The rest of the year, well, let’s just say it didn’t quite live up to my expectations. The entire planet seems to have gone berserk (too many examples to link to) and personally, I accomplished less than I’d hoped.

So, here we are, just days from Christmas 2014, and I suppose it’s progress that I’m not plagued with sadness over the state of my awkward family. I think I’ve arrived at a place of tolerable acceptance and that’s quite a relief.

I also became a certified mediator, was published on Huffington Post, and have finally designed a career plan for the coming year! My kids are doing well in school and are intelligent, thoughtful, funny humans of whom I am very proud.

Paying more attention to current world events has conjured much gratitude for my own peaceful existence and for the health and well-being of those closest to me. Now I can grieve for how fucked up the world is instead of harping on my own condition.

The past year sped by too quickly, however, I’m glad it is coming to a close. Aren’t we all?

A new year is a new opportunity to realign with our values and to dust off the muck from the prior year. While it may be symbolic, it can also be powerful.

My wish for 2015 is that beyond just focusing on our personal resolutions and goals, we collectively commit to the basic tenets of being a decent human. I can’t define “decent human” for others but for myself it entails practicing: kindness, patience, honesty, humility and generosity.

I promise to try harder in 2015 and I hope you will too.

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!

Standing in the Rain

Fall / Autumn concept - Rain boots in mud puddleThis afternoon, I got an impulse to stand in the pouring rain. It rarely rains here in drought stricken Southern California.

The air gets so nasty and dense with smog, sometimes visible, sometimes not, but always toxic.

So, when the rain comes, it’s such a gift. It washes away the muck, turns what is a rather drab city into a lush expanse surrounded by mountains touching a picturesque blue sky.

But, I’m getting ahead of myself.

It’s still raining. This is a long stretch for us (been a few days on and off now). Neither these streets nor the drivers who traverse them are prepared for rain. Intersections flood and cars hydroplane. Some people drive dangerously slow, while others’ accelerated speeds scream “death wish.”

These houses don’t have roofs constructed to withstand onslaughts that wouldn’t come close to being referred to as onslaughts in most other places.

This rain is such a big deal!

So, I got this impulse to go stand in the rain. I hoped the rain would wash away every morsel of dingy, lingering painful impressions left upon me from past experiences (some recent, some long ago and some probably pre-cognition).

I stepped out into the rain. Rain that beats down so hard when it hits the ground but is actually quite soft as it lands on my head, my torso and eventually my feet.

This rain isn’t strong enough to wash away my angst. But it feels so good anyway.

My dog is peering at me from inside my house. She glares in an expression I can only interpret as concern for my mental health. But she’s a loyal dog so after a few minutes, she takes a few tentative steps toward me. Then she barrels into a full force crazy run and bucks her body about with apparent joy.

I can’t help but smile.