I started this blog with the intention of writing about my circumstances at that time, which entailed sharing a house with my estranged husband (and our two kids). I kept myself anonymous so I could go to town and share all of the nitty gritty, heart-breaking and hilarious details. Continue reading
For the first time in my life, I am fine with being single. I’ve enjoyed the lack of drama and the ability to spend my free time as I wish, shave when I feel like it (and not when I don’t) and just run my own show.
But, tonight, I caved. I cried. And I realized that, while I don’t miss my ex anymore, I do miss having my family together for the holidays. Continue reading
The problem with being a grown up (and by “grown up,” I kind of mean 40 and up though it can apply to younger folks), is that you’ve lived long enough to know that nothing is the “be all and end all.” If you’re anything like me, you’ve gone through many incarnations and gained and lost many attachments. Goals were either met and replaced by new ones or went unmet and were written off as “wrong fits” in retrospect.
Thus, it can be difficult to believe in or hone in on a single life purpose.
And this is where I have found myself flummoxed. Continue reading
Why am I, a 40 something year old, complaining about middle school? Because experiencing it as a parent of middle schoolers is ALMOST worse than having experienced it as a student myself.
Gee, I wonder why the following strategy is not working – Continue reading
Since my ex and I met with the new mediator, a lot has happened. Well, a lot having to do with everything but getting divorced.
It seems there is not enough money nor time for us to do this.
With the arrival of some major unexpected expenses and the always relentless hustle and bustle of work and life, our foray into mediation has been suspended for now. So, I remain living in limbo. Not married, not divorced.
In the meantime, I’m still sifting through our things, organizing and preparing.
The ex and I are getting along. The kids are relatively okay and have acclimated to this odd new structure (or lack thereof). And I grapple with how the hell I will manage to get the divorce I never wanted.
But, I still believe in love.
So, after the first grueling hour of meeting with a mediator, I learned quite a lot. Now, the question is, will the ex and I follow these rules? Continue reading
Five Things To Remember When You Are Feeling your Worst
5. You have felt happiness before and you WILL surely feel it again.
4. Life is short, with a max of around 100 years to put in total, you may as well take a shot at seeing if something better comes along. In the end you’ll die anyway but in the meantime, even one or two amazing moments will be well worth sticking around for.
3. The best, most inspiring, authentic, effective people have been right where you are at least once. You are in stellar company.
2. Someone loves you. Someone has loved you. Someone will love you. Imagine, actually, know in your heart that someone loves you. Try to hone in on what that thought elicits for you. Feel it. Bottle it…save it for whenever you need it.
1. You deserve life. You would not exist if you didn’t. I’m not commenting on how good a person you are or are not (at least with me, when I’m feeling like shit about myself there’s no talking me out of it). But, even if you are the worthless piece of crap you’re telling yourself you are (you’re not by the way, but if you insist)…the proof is in the pudding. You are here, therefore you are meant to be here. I can’t fathom that you would be here, even as you struggle, if there wasn’t some mission, minor or major, for you to fulfill.
My advice here is heartfelt and lighthearted and it is truly what worked for me in my scariest moments. That said, I am not an expert nor a psychologist. If you are in any danger of harming yourself, please seek help immediately from a loved one and/or a professional.
You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255