Uncle (I don’t know much) …

I really don’t know much.

I like to ponder and dissect and share what I glean from that exploration.

But I still don’t “know” much. Continue reading

Advertisements

Sometimes it Hurts

I don’t have to tell you that sometimes it hurts. You know that.

But I want to tell you. Because it’s easy to forget that everyone struggles. It’s easy to take it personally when things fall apart. It’s easy to surmise that we are each so uniquely flawed and alone in our doubts, insecurities and suffering.

I wonder how we make this mistake, allow this delusion to disguise itself as realty—that somehow others have it easier, are loved more, feel better more often. It’s really a crock of shit. Continue reading

Divorce, Shame and What Century Are We In?

I have these bouts of feeling back in my skin. Thinking I’ve found my new normal and having regained my confidence, I put myself out there in one way or another — professionally, socially, romantically. Before long, I find myself cowering in my cave, wanting to shelter myself from the inevitable slings and arrows of real life.

I’m in the cave stage at the moment. Continue reading

There’s Something About a Wedding …

Beautiful flower wedding decoration
Since my husband and I split up, I’ve become a bit cynical about love, monogamy and marriage. But, yesterday as I sat under the ornate high pitched ceiling of an old Catholic Church awaiting the entrance of the bride, the anticipation summoned a youthful optimism and simple delight that only weddings can conjure. Continue reading

Death, Divorce and “The War of Art” …

It’s been over five years now since my husband and I split up.

Looking back, what fascinates me most is how I could have possibly sunk so low, how my identity and sanity could have been so rattled by the unilateral move of another human being. It’s not that I don’t understand intellectually—my family is everything to me. But, how could I have forgotten the inevitability of loss and suffering in some form? How could I have deemed myself immune from having my reality shattered in one way or another? Continue reading

Adventures in Anonymous (and Non-Anonymous) Blogging

I started this blog with the intention of writing about my circumstances at that time, which entailed sharing a house with my estranged husband (and our two kids). I kept myself anonymous so I could go to town and share all of the nitty gritty, heart-breaking and hilarious details. Continue reading

All Right 2014…The Gloves are Coming off!

2013 can suck it. I had such high hopes for it and it let me down. Maybe I let it down. Or I let myself down, who knows? It sure seems that 2013 sucked for a lot of people. “Less income and more stress” was the theme and buzzkill of 2013. Continue reading

Braving Christmas Alone…

For the first time in my life, I am fine with being single. I’ve enjoyed the lack of drama and the ability to spend my free time as I wish, shave when I feel like it (and not when I don’t) and just run my own show.

But, tonight, I caved. I cried. And I realized that, while I don’t miss my ex anymore, I do miss having my family together for the holidays. Continue reading