Tag Archives: grief

What Loss Can Do

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Loss can crack you open

Until you almost break

Or until you break

And either stay broken

Or put the pieces back together

Ignore the cracks?

Embrace the cracks?

Seal the cracks with love and gratitude?

The cracks remain

Loss can make you feel

Too much

Too often

Too fully

Or just enough?

Loss can remind you

That you cared that much

That you could again

That some things do matter

And some things don’t

Loss can make you choose

To live with it

To accept the deal

To risk its barbs

Again

And

Again

Loss can make you

Realize

It’s worth it.

 

Death, Divorce and “The War of Art” …

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It’s been over five years now since my husband and I split up.

Looking back, what fascinates me most is how I could have possibly sunk so low, how my identity and sanity could have been so rattled by the unilateral move of another human being. It’s not that I don’t understand intellectually—my family is everything to me. But, how could I have forgotten the inevitability of loss and suffering in some form? How could I have deemed myself immune from having my reality shattered in one way or another? Continue reading →

Looking back on the day we “told the kids”…

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Two little faces, innocent and round. 11am. Awake and alert in anticipation of what that day, that Sunday would bring.

I turned the TV off. “Why?” The boys protested.

“We need to talk to you.” Continue reading →

In Divorce, A Broken Heart Is Just The Start…

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We’ve all had our hearts broken, haven’t we? Where our chests throb with pain and the agony of withdrawal renders us useless, doomed to a life (though thankfully temporary) of holing up in our beds, eating ice cream (or in the worst cases, not eating at all). Continue reading →

Beyond Humbled…

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I can’t shake this sense of grief and preoccupation with the unfathomable loss of the families in Newtown Connecticut.

I will deal with my divorce and my daily life. But, I can’t imagine ever believing that my problems are significant again. Continue reading →

When 20 children die, everything else seems trivial; Rephrase, everything else IS trivial…

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My kids slept out at their grandparent’s last night. I slept in this morning, something I almost never do. Shortly after I awoke, I went on Facebook on my iphone by rote. I found the usual blather and some references to another shooting. I checked my emails. I sauntered out of bed, relishing in the quiet and the complete lack of obligatory tasks. No kids around, such ease, such a treat. Continue reading →