Adventures in Anonymous (and Non-Anonymous) Blogging

I started this blog with the intention of writing about my circumstances at that time, which entailed sharing a house with my estranged husband (and our two kids). I kept myself anonymous so I could go to town and share all of the nitty gritty, heart-breaking and hilarious details.

Pretty early on I felt inhibited by the logical awareness that I wasn’t writing in a private journal; I was writing on the internet where anyone could potentially read every word. My intention naturally shifted from entertaining readers to enlightening (or at least commiserating). To maintain anonymity, I had to omit many defining details and events. Still, knowing that I had talked any smack about my ex online and that my kids and he could somehow stumble upon my blog, kept me up at night. I know there are many successful bloggers who choose anonymity or pseudonyms, but I know now that I can’t. It’s too stressful and I’m too unorganized to maintain a separate identity that I keep from my children, my ex and the rest of my family.

A good writer must expose him/herself. A good person must consider other people when divulging personal information. It pains me to have to inhibit myself – not because I am so interesting, but because so many around me are (especially my ex)! But their stories are theirs to tell, at least for now.

Anyone who knows me, knows that my kids come first. So the intention and content of my blog must change again. I’m now editing and omitting and restructuring Surviving Limbo and I will tell stories that reveal as much as I am willing and ready to be accountable for. I’ve had some practice now writing for other sites without anonymity and while it evokes a great deal of vulnerability and self-consciousness, it feels healthy and appropriate given that I’m asking you to take time to read my words. I want to give something personal.

My intention now is to identify less with my marital status and start moving forward. There’s still plenty of fodder and my circumstances weigh heavy on me but I’m hoping I can turn a lump of coal into a diamond right before your eyes! Okay, well, on a less lofty note, I want to at least survive and maybe even thrive. If I can, so can you, and so can anyone else.

I’m keeping the name Surviving Limbo because in the last few years I’ve realized that life itself is a sort of limbo and most of us are in some kind of limbo most of the time. I don’t mean to sound super self-important here. I realize the number of people that read this post could be anywhere from one to a hundred. But, it’s still a big deal to me personally to be “coming out” so to speak. As soon as I have this sucker cleared of all overtly inconsiderate material, I’ll be smacking my name on my “Who Am I” page and we’ll see how the world of non-anonymous blogging pans out for me. It’s sure to be an adventure.

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