Remember when I publicly declared that I was going to kick 2014’s ass?

Well, surprise, surprise … 2014 has all ready kicked my ass!

Yes, 11 days in and I surrender.

Both kids were sick all week. In fact it’s been exactly 13 days since this bug hit our home and now I’m succumbing due to lack of sleep, cabin fever, and too much exposure to grumpy children. Oh, and of course, there was that one time my younger son decided it would be funny to cough in my open mouth, on purpose. Who does that little shit think is going to wait on him hand and foot if I’m laid out for a week?

Did I just call him a “little shit”? Okay, new low, At least new public low.

“Man plans and God laughs.”

What I love most about this Yiddish proverb is that it flies in the face of everything we are trained to believe. “Fail to plan, plan to fail,” is the more popular motto. Planning gives us such a sense of control and determination. It’s awesome and it’s an illusion.

So, like the good human I am, I will now plan to be woken up, plan to call the doctor again on Monday and plan to maybe possibly do nothing but care for sick people all week.

But after that, I swear to fucking God, I’m gonna come back swinging and take on 2014!

Yes, I know God’s laughing his ass off.